Going Live To Camp Half Blood
by TheOnlyMarauderette
Summary: Percy Jackson and friends have a few complaints. Hermes broadcasts Percy and co liveto every PJO fanfiction writer's computer. Parody and oneshot, please R&R!


_**I don't own anything expect the tiny bit of plot that is hidden behind all of the randomness and, unfortunately, the Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl. R&R!**_

The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl had just finished a whole thirty pages of fluff between Nico and her OC. She was writing another Nico/OC fanfiction. Suddenly, her computer screen was filled with static. A blurry image came into view, then focused.

It was a group of teenagers, standing in front of a forest. A black haired boy with green eyes stood in front. On his right was a pretty blonde girl and on his left was a boy with curly brown hair that fell out of the cap he had on his head. Behind them stood a younger boy with shaggy black hair, a girl with frizzy red hair and another girl with electric blue eyes.

"Is it on Hermes?" the black haired boy asked. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl immediately started hyperventilating as she realised it was Percy Jackson and the characters from the book.

"Streaming live to every Percy Jackson fanfiction writer in the world," a voice behind the camera said proudly. Percy grimaced at the words, "Percy Jackson fanfiction."

"Um, well . . ." Percy started.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Leave us alone! You are destroying our personalities!"

"Jeez Annabeth, let it all out," Grover sighed.

"It's true!" Annabeth continued.

Percy seemed to have recovered some of his courage. "We wanted to make a few complaints,"

"A few complaints! I swear to the gods, if I was allowed, I would hunt down every author who has ever written about me in a relationship and brutally murder them!" Thalia exclaimed. "I am a Hunter of Artemis. I do not like boys. End of story," she continued, saying everything slowly.

"Good day to you," she practically growled, storming off to somewhere behind the camera.

"Oh that's not even the beginning of it!" Rachel said, stopping right in front of the camera. "There is not and never will be, anything going on between Apollo and I."

Then a really hot teenager popped up in a flash of light. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl decided she was going to leave the Nico Di Angelo fan club and join Apollo's.

"Don't mind her," he waved dismissively. "She so loves me."

Rachel slowly faced Apollo. "I'm going to kick your immortal butt all the way into the next century!" Apollo looked seriously scared as he ran out of the camera's view. The screen jostled and blurred for a moment. Then it showed Rachel chasing Apollo down a hill. Apollo had just let out a high pitched shriek.

"Hermes!" Annabeth's voice called. "We had a deal!"

"I know, but I _need _to get this on film! He's screaming like a girl! Think about the blackmail possibilities!"

"NO."

The camera switched back to the other PJO characters. Nico stepped forward.

"Seriously people? I'm twelve! I don't even know what -"

His voice was muffled when Annabeth put her hand over his mouth. He pulled it off.

"Okay I won't say anything. But I am fine being lonely. So please. Leave me alone." He walked into the shadows of the trees and disappeared.

"I'm not sure why I need to clear this up, but I'm with Annabeth," Percy said evenly.

"Did you hear that? He's with me! Not Thalia, not Artemis, not your OC. With me. Understand?" Annabeth huffed, folding her arms.

"Um Hermes? Didn't you say something about Tartarus?" Percy asked awkwardly, putting an arm around Annabeth.

"Right you are Percy. My dear old granddad wanted something to be known," Hermes said. "Going live to Tartarus."

The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl's computer screen fuzzed. Then it went totally black. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl would have screamed because she thought her computer had turned off, but just as she opened her mouth, she heard noises. She realised it was dance music playing in the background. Then, a slow, horrible voice began to speak. It sounded like nails on a chalk board.

"Hello. Man, I wish I could kill you all."

"Ahem," Hermes coughed.

"Oh right, sorry. Ha ha not really! I hope you run out of toilet paper!"

"I thought you wanted to say something?" Hermes asked impatiently.

"Ah yes. You see . . . I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN! The gods, yes, but I wish I had them adopted. So stop writing about my imaginary children or I will put dead ferrets in your plumbing! BUAWAHAHAHAHAHA -eck! Choking here! Someone want to lend me a hand?"

"Just turn off the camera," Hermes sighed.

"How am I supposed to do that? I'm cut into a million pieces! Sauron, will you turn off the camera please?"

"I'm a giant eye! Not possible!" a high pitched voice squealed. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl assumed it was Sauron, but she didn't know who he was. "Ask Megatron!"

"I can't! He's busting some moves on the dance floor with Mystique and Jabba the Hutt! Hey Voldie! Will you shut it off?"

"Of course," a voice drawled creepily. "_Avada Kedavra_!"

The screen switched straight back to Camp Half Blood except this time, a man dressed for the beach was there.

"Damn it! That camera took me ages to install! Poison Ivy kept growing vines over it!" Hermes moaned.

"I have worse problems Hermes!" the beach guy exclaimed, sounding slightly hysterical. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl realised it was Poseidon.

"Me - Athena - AHHHH!" Poseidon started sobbing uncontrollably. He curled into a ball on the ground and started rocking back and forth.

"Oh gods!" Percy gasped. "He must of read a Pothena fic!"

Everybody shuddered.

A flash of lightning hit the ground. Smoke blocked the camera. When it cleared, a man with a beard in an expensive looking suit stood there.

"And he said I should be the god of theatre! Ha!" the man grabbed Poseidon's arm and they both disappeared.

"We'll be watching," Percy said threateningly. The Percy Jackson obsessed fangirl's computer screen went back to her wallpaper. She shrugged, then gasped. Her whole thirty pages of Nico/OC fluff had been erased! There was only one thing she could do.

Write it all out again.

_**I love most of the pairings I made fun of but I had to write it. The whole thing in Tartarus is inspired by the song 'Club Villain'. It's on YouTube, you should really check it out, it's hilarious! Please review!**_


End file.
